I want this on my tombstone
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Just so you all know, my tumblr glitched egregiously so now every time someone reblogs this from me, tumblr takes me off of my dashboard or search results and forces me to see this post again
WHY DID SOMEONE ADD AN INCINERATOR ????
nothing must remain
Usually it's women who buy from the feather shop, sometimes accompanied by tolerant men schlepping backpacks. But every so often a guy comes in, usually to buy a present, and as someone who's never really experienced guys shopping before, their efficiency in impressive. Guy comes in, I'll take that one, guy goes out.
The other day we had this massive bearded dude, 6'3 linebacker style, walk right in and declare in a gruff baritone "My fairy wings didn't arrive in time. I need some backup wings." We offered a massive pair of feathered green wings; he tried them on (tiny) and said "A little high in the back, but I'll take 'em." On his way out, by way of clarification, he said "I'm Tankerbelle."
I love the goths, I love the middle-aged street-clothes ladies trying something different, I LOVE the little kids, but Tankerbelle will always hold a special place in my heart.
(I spotted him a few weeks later and got the pic; pleased to see he was still rocking our wings rather than what he'd ordered earlier!)
1. I love Tankerbelle with my entire heart.
2. Am I the only one who looked at the description ‘green feather wings’ and a picture of a lovely buff man wearing large primarily RED wings, and was concerned that OP and/or Tankerbelle may be red/green colourblind?
It’s not autumn until you bring out the family trebuchet.
I regret to announce that the family trebuchet has been retired following an incident wherein the trebuchet lobbed a pumpkin backwards, taking out a truck window, before self destructing when the counterweight swung into one of the support legs, shattering it instantly
I am delighted to announce that my dad has begun work on a new trebuchet
2024. your alex (alexa has been made gender neutral) wakes you up with an alarm at 5:30.... you thought you didn't need to wake up until 7, but your work's schedule app shows that the scheduling ai changed the schedule overnight, following the termination of your coworker brandyn, and your alarm was automatically adjusted. you feel like shit. "alex," you say, "i need to call in. i feel horrible..." you hold still as alex's camera scans you and they analyze your appearance for signs of illness. "you appear to be feeling fine," they say, "are you sure you want me to go ahead with that request?" you grimace.... you're exhausted. you steel yourself for whatever consequences are to come.... "yes," you say. "alright," says alex, "i'm submitting your request now." your phone buzzes on your wrist - the request has been received. a second notification. you've been terminated for falsifying a sick day request. a third - this one is from the property management company that owns your apartment - after receiving notice of your termination, the leasing ai has elected to evict you. within 24 hours, your smart home security will no longer recognize you as a resident. alex starts to count down
BTW you are not working for some kind of orwellian megacorp you are working at a little coffeeshop owned by a pleasant blonde woman who uses the scheduling app because its convenient and your apartment complex is a small one with only 10 units and the office staff is friendly but they dont really make the decisions and things are so normal you can convince yourself that things are normal and pleasant and everything is so convenient
spongebobssquarepants
